I was recently told, because I am not much of a web surfer (I only have dial-up access to the internet where I live) that there has been attention given in the mainstream press to “pro-cutting” websites. You can guess most of the conversations centered on “How can someone promote that!” and “What can we do to stop this, it will make people want to do it” and “What is wrong with people, putting pictures of their cuts on the internet?!”
Sigh. No, I’m not for promoting SIV. But I’m not for bashing it either. Why can’t people understand that it’s simple: if you trash people for something that is helpful to them (not only hurtful), if you withdraw yourself from them because of their SIV…. people will need to find others who understand. That is why I started The Cutting Edge: A newsletter for people living with self-inflicted violence in 1990. 1990! For 18 years the newsletter, and now the web site has been intended to be a place where people can begin to understand SIV (their own and that of others) in a compassionate, nonjudgmental way. Everyone wants to have a tribe, no?
I remember when I was still smoking that people would tell me how bad smoking was for me, and that it was a waste of money, and all the other purely logical reasons not to smoke… My smoking friends would understand better, but we did know that we were hurting ourselves and each other. One of my dearest friends told me “Please don’t be so hard on yourself… it must help in some way and you will stop when it is time. Please be good to yourself” And I did. I think the same is true for living with SIV.
How come it is so hard for people to get the shame, blame and judgment out of this?
What do those of you who know the web think and feel? Please teach me. Thanks.