So I had believed that this part of my life, focused on teaching about trauma, self-injury, and healing, had ended. No formal good-bye, still taking on work, but letting go in my heart and spirit. I had thought, after over 20 years of this work, that we had accomplished at least part of the goal of changing awareness about the roots of self-injury and how to create opportunities for healing So I started moving in a different direction. My life this past year became quite focused on horses and I have been challenged, inspired, and deeply moved by that journey. One of my last posts was about Pocket, the horse that a friend and I rescued, who has deeply changed both of our lives this past year. Now there is another, second, horse in my life. Harriett arrived in a circuitous way after the death of a friend who used to tend to her. It’s been a busy time. Let’s just say that I’ve become quite good with a shovel.
Yet now I am so glad that I didn’t dismantle this blog, nor the web site. Couldn’t make myself do it and am grateful that it is still here, like a trusted friend. I get to come back and start writing again. I offer you fresh eyes, renewed enthusiasm, and a tender heart.
Why? Two reasons. First of all, I’ve been made keenly aware that there is still a great deal of misunderstanding and pain about SIV in our society, including the mental health community. While there are pockets of sanctuary, there are still many people truly suffering from being judged, misunderstood, controlled, pathologized and mistreated. Many are greatly harmed by this. There is still much work to be done. I tend to be an optimist at heart but now sit in the reality that I was overly hopeful about the evolution of understanding about SIV. I am not ready to walk away yet, I just didn’t know it.
Second, a beloved friend, a young woman I cherish and respect, let me know that she and her family are in turmoil because she is cutting. Of course I am sad that she needs SIV for now. I love her and her family. So we have begun talking and having adventures, planning and scheming. We have two powerful forces in our lives: SIV and horses. I have my journey to share about healing from the need for SIV, while she has her healing path to create. We both find light and excitement, peace and comfort when we are around the horses. These two passions, one so painful, the other so joyful, have brought us together.
And the journey has led here. We want to share our journey on this blog, and invite you to return here to expand our small circle of healing. I have been brought back to the roots of what is most important to me – people I care about, our passions, and the journeys we can share together. It feels like coming home to a place that is familiar, but new as well. I am eager to start the conversations. More soon….