SIV: Any computer lovers out there?
Ah, finally liking this computer again. The past weeks, actually months, have been full of frustration for me as I’ve experienced computer glitches. Then a crash. A big one. Oops. So, for anyone who has e-mailed me in the past few months and hasn’t heard back, please try again (my home e-mail is rutamaz@eohio.net). My ISP is a small local company and could not give me access to my old e-mail from a remote computer. I had to wait and hope this computer could be fixed.
And it has been, so I am excited about being back in touch (in the next few days please look at the web site, as there will be new postings of prose and poetry, really wonderful stuff).  I am not all that comfortable with computers or the internet as a whole. Some of my problem is that I’m intimidated about learning computer skills. Most of my problem is that, most often, I’d rather be cooking for friends, walking dogs, hiking in the woods, or even shoveling out my horse’s stall…
Recently a friend challenged me to get more interested in the internet and explore what is out there regarding SIV. I haven’t begun to do this whole-heartedly yet (my challenge is that I have dial-up access, which is very slow), but I’m interested in learning about what is out there. I’ve previously explored clinical sites that discussed “self-mutilation†and didn’t find much different than what I had seen in books or articles. But what my friend told me about was the existence of “pro-cutting†web sites. Have you found these? What are your experiences and thoughts about this?
I’m wondering if the misunderstanding and intense efforts to control those who feel the need to self-injure has brought about a protective reaction is some folks who live with SIV. I neither argue for nor against SIV, to me it “just is.â€Â Therefore, SIV can be understood and we can create opportunities for people to heal from needing SIV, if they want to. I’ve certainly read a whole lot about how “horrid†and “pathological†SIV is and have written many times about how many coercive psychiatric practices, as well as bigotry and misinformation in the general public, have caused great harm.
But the idea of promoting SIV is a new concept to me and I am interested in what people are thinking and believing. Is this a celebration of SIV? Is this a way of finding comfort with people who understand? Where can I learn more? Anyone out there want to let me know what they think? I’d appreciate hearing from you!
March 16th, 2010 at 11:35 pm
Hi. I just stumbled upon your blog tonight and I find it to be outstanding. I am a SIV’er (is that correct)?! I have the whole skin picking, well… really picking the same ones over and over again until maybe a new one might show up. Yesturday was True Confession Day, a fun silly little Day someone made up. So I thought I should share something about myself no one knew and I chose my fiance of course. We know all about each other except this one thing he didnt know. He knew I was a picker but he didnt know my dark secret. So I told him. He didn’t react the way I thought he would with support and maybe asking what he could do. He literally acted with disgust. It crushed me. Anyways… you have a new reader here. Good work. Feel free to email me. I would like some one to talk to about my”secret” I don’t thin it’s that bad, but yes it’s not normal.
March 22nd, 2010 at 7:47 am
Jenn, People that do not self injure simply do not understand because they have not been there in our minds while we do it. I too was a cutter for many years. I am now almost 40 and I suffered many consequences from my addiction to it. I have been freed by the help from Lord and have been healed for almost 16 yrs now but my heart hurts for people who still suffer from it. Please know that it is not ‘normal’ and personally I thought I was absolutely crazy. Felt almost out of my body at times and had the darkest battle going on in my head between needing to do it and knowing it was killing me. It doesn’t have to bea secret, you just need to make sure you talk to someone who understands it. Jeremiah 29:11 says,”For I know the plans I havefor you,”declares the Lord,, “They are plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Learn that God loves you and believe that you are precious to Him. He has such great plans for you.
March 22nd, 2010 at 7:51 am
And to the author of this original post… Yes I have heard of these ‘cutting clubs’ and it concerns me greatly. I’m worried that this problem has become glamorized in a sense with these clubs. This is soooo dangerous. Members of these clubs are finding comfort in the fact that they aren’t judged and and are encouraged to do what theirmind is telling them but they are not finding healing to be able to deal with their emotions healthy and becoming free from it.
March 27th, 2010 at 8:59 pm
Hi. Thanks so much for the time and effort you put into creating your site. What an amazing amount of persistance you’ve shown, to keep going, despite health problems, and internet glitches . Reading your material and blog gives me hope. I stay away from mental health professionals, because I’ve never experienced anything positive, that wasn’t overty or covertly abusive.
I’m in the process of dicovering ‘how’ recovery happens, but it didn’t start recently. I’ve been trying to recover since I was a teenager, still living in a violent and dangerous home. I never considered my skin picking and problems with food, dissociation etc were connected to abuse.
I’m very isloated right now, becaue I’ve cut ties with family, with people who’ve hurt me and life can feel very lonely. Thankyou for offering sensible, affirming material to read. This is a good place. i look forward to hearing more and to seeing the artwork and writing.
May 21st, 2010 at 2:04 pm
I am also a SIV’er. and at times I feel that I should cut. But other times I don’t want to. Is that normal?